Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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