I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
