is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
