wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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