Small penises have feelings too.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
