I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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