Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
we're so committed to being not committed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
