the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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