I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
