Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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