i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
