It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I will pee on everything he values.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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