By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
