Whod you bang
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
