How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
