walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
