she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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