you guys were way drunker than both of me
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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