guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
