is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Please don't give away my fajitas
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