Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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