i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
