The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
