hotel room ftw
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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