He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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