My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize