So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
