ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
