I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
