Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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