Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize