There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just gift wrapped bread.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
