i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
