Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize