Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
