party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
