I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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