So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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