listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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