Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
