He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
