The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fuck me I smell like cheese
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
