That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
