If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
