You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
