i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
