I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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