I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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