You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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