If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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