The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
