i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize