Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
