we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
