yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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