We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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