Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
